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Welcome to the

 Sea of Acceptance and the

Feel it to Heal it Movement (*)



Many of us find ourselves in a difficult spot after a very significant loss (Death, separation, devorse, abandonment or estrangement)

 

Are you stuck, not sure where to turn next?

Do you feel totally out of control?

Are some of your friends and family acting like strangers and some strangers are acting like friends and family?

Are you like I was, grief illiterate and grief Phobic?

Were you ever taught how to lose things (especially people and relationships), or just taught how to gain things?

Is this you?

If so, please read on.

It turns out you are probably not broken, but rather stuck and don't need to be fixed, but rather witnessed.

It turns out most people (including many of our friends and relatives are grief illiterate and grief phobic).  When you have a significant loss, they may want to reach out but they are usually frightened by our grief.  They don't understand it, they want it to be invisible to them.  They may even want you to quickly deal with it.  

Some people go to widowed people a few months after the death and assume they should be over the loss.

One idea is to focus on who shows up, not on who you thought would show up.

Grief is messy, messy, messy.  It is not linear, and the truth is we never get rid of our grief, we never get over it.  

Rather we learn to live with it.  

There is no fast forward button, no easy button.

Some people go to widowed people a few months after the death and assume they should be over the loss.

Time alone does not heal grief, time and some corrective steps.  So, you need to learn some things and un-learn some other things.

It turns out, the best way out of this GRIEF pain is through this pain.  Please don't let that frighten you off.

If your love was real, then the grief is real.  

Lois Hall (Public Health Nurse, 20+ year Grief Recovery Specialist) once said:
Unresolved grief is the #1 unaddressed public health issue of our day. and 100% of us grieve.

Deep grief is affected by our regrets (and unresolved things) from our past, and when we stare into the abyss of the unknown future, we can shut down.

What we are left with is a a clogged present moment, where we might not eat right, sleep right or be able to concentrate etc.  


All this can lead us to be severely heart-wounded and we can have what is called grief brain fog.


David Kennedy suggest that when this tsunami of emotions hit us after a profound loss, many of us feel like we have been dropped into a deep dark hole. We are there with no frame of reference and may not have a clue what to do next. To compound things, our eating, sleeping and commitment abilities have been severely hampered.


Our friends and family love us dearly and want the best for us, but they may not know how to help, so they may try to reach down and yank us from the sad space we are in and place us on the happy veneer surface of the world.


The truth is we are where we are suppose to be, sad as a result of our loss.  We are not broken, but rather stuck, and we don't need to be fixed, just witnessed (without judgement).


There are people in this world who think that we should be over our grief in a short period of time.


The actual truth is that we never get over our grief. Over time, if we pick up and apply some small corrective steps, we can learn to live with our grief in a healthy way (for the rest of our life). Following this idea, grief will appear less often and may be less intense as we build and follow our "HEALTHY GRIEF RECOVERY JOURNEY:


The recovery we speak of is the recovery of ourselves.


How one choses to grieve can affect rest of their lives. 


It is very painful to avoid grief, and it is very painful to build and follow a "Healthy Grief Recovery Journey."



Remember, "WE ALL GRIEVE DIFFERENTLY"


Hopefully reading this page has sparked a dialogue in your mind, body and soul, as to your own personal next steps.


How do I know this?  I was widowed 24 years apart.  I have studied and am certified by the Grief Recovery Institute and the David Kessler Institute.  Some of what is written above came from these two great institutes.


I have successfully run one-on-one and group workshops,  in-person and on ZOOM.


May I suggest you go to the contact page and reach out to me.  We can have a brief discovery call. 


Or email me at info@seaofacceptance.com


We would be honored to walk with you and and assist you with leaning how to build and follow your own "Healthy Grief Recovery Journey”. 



Thank you. 


David 


* - Trademark pending  https://www.trademarkelite.com/trademark/trademark-detail/98122218/FEEL-IT-TO-HEAL-IT-MOVEMENT

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